Test: How to Take This Marriage Crisis
Is your marriage just under some stress, or is it in real trouble? Jot down a check everytime a statement is true for you or true for your relationship. When finished, add up the number of “yes checks.” and read your score below. This brief test helps you gain some objectivity about the state of your marriage. Remember, we are here to help you restore your marriage!
| Yes | No | |
| We spend more time in negative communication than we do in loving conversation. | ||
| We have tried one–hour-a-week counseling, and it didn’t help. | ||
| We continue to have more and more arguments. | ||
| There is little affection between the two of us. | ||
| I feel afraid to bring up issues we have – because we always end up in conflict. | ||
| I day-dream what life would be like not being married to my spouse. | ||
| We spend more time apart than we used to. | ||
| I frequently believe I’ve married the wrong person. | ||
| You have been sharing your marriage problems with an opposite gender person. | ||
| Trust has been broken between the two of you. Ex; emotion or sexual affair, porn use, etc. | ||
| I’ve been staying in the marriage for reasons other than love. ex; guilt, obligation, the children, financial impact. | ||
| The stress from my marriage is affecting other areas of my life, ex; my work, parenting other relationships. |
My score is a ____ out of 13 questions.
Scoring:
- 1 – 3: You may not be in crisis now, but if you keep heading in the direction you’re going, your relationship could go downhill fast.
- 4 – 6: Your marriage is in trouble and needs professional help. You need more support than one-hour-a-week-counseling can provide (weekly counseling having only a 7% success rate).
- 7 – 9: Your marriage is on its last leg. The Intensive format (multiple days in a row) is needed as soon as possible. Regardless of what Counselor you see, make sure that you chose a Private Intensive Format, verses group counseling. You two need the entire time focused only on your issues.
- 10 – 12: You two are hanging by a thread. You need an immediate marriage intervention. Pick a counselor that specializes in working with couples in crisis.