you are doing the anxiety ridden job of trying to find the best place for you and your spouse to get the right kind of help for your marriage. the saying “knowledge is power” applies here as well. the more you know about marriage intensives, the better decision you’ll make. that means you’ll want to find out as much as you can about each program.
below are questions that many people ask when trying to determine if they want to move forward with us. remember, if after reading this document, you still have unanswered questions, please feel free to give us a call. we want to help you heal your marriage!
What Form of Counseling Does “Marriage Rescue” Use?
We do not subscribe to the “talk therapy” method of counseling, simply because it doesn’t work with couples in crisis. We each have advanced study in “Solution Oriented Counseling” (SOC). In SOC, we do not hang out in the past – blaming, fault finding, who is the bad guy … etc., we put our time and energy into creating do-able solutions to a couple’s issues. we do need to look at the past long enough to get a clear idea of each spouse’s complaints about the other; we do this so a couple can move forward with a game plan. SOC allows couples to create a new today and tomorrow!
Who Should Attend an Intensive Marriage Retreat?
- Busy professionals who don’t have time to wait 9-12 months for weekly sessions to make any progress, if any.
- Couples who have tried traditional one-hour-a-week marriage counseling and it didn’t help.
- Couples who are without hope and want to give up.
- Couples who can’t afford a costly divorce.
- Couples who need an immediate Intervention.
What Will We Learn in an Intensive Marriage Retreat?
- You’ll learn how to feel really heard and understood by your spouse.
- You’ll learn how to meet each other’s deepest needs.
- You’ll learn how to prevent conflict, or if in conflict, how to resolve it in a non-damaging way.
- You’ll learn how to heal from deep past hurts.
- You’ll learn how to rebuild trust.
What is The Difference Between the 3, 4 and 5 Day Retreats?
Time. Depending on the amount of issues, the severity and complexity of a couple’s issues, a couple may need more time than a 3 Day Intensive. We need to leave no stone un-turned – and that may mean more time. We work to get to the root of issues. Each Counselor sees their own couple.
I Didn’t See Your Openings Listed on Your Website, How Do I Pick Dates?
We don’t list our openings on the website because they fill up so fast that it’s more expedient to schedule with us over the phone. We can usually see a couple within
How Do I Hold The Dates I Want?
You hold dates by paying either 50% or 100% of the cost of your Intensive. If you chose to pay half, the second half is due 10 days before you arrive. Something not to be surprised about is when you pay, the receipt you get from the processing company will not show your dates. We have your dates written on our schedules. Once you have paid at least 50% the dates are yours.
What Days Do You Offer Intensive Marriage Retreats?
3-day Retreats: Thursday through Saturday.
4-day Retreats: Wednesday through Saturday.
5-day Retreats: Tuesday through Saturday
We rest on Sunday’s.
What Do You Specialize In?
- Infidelity & Broken Trust (We have a specific “Road to Recovery” for couples who want to heal from the devastating experience of broken trust.)
- Conflicts & Arguing
- Communication Problems
- Deep Hurts & Wounds
- Blended Family & Parenting Issues
Do You Offer After-Care?
Yes! We feel strongly that every program should have solid after-care as part of the total Intensive experience. We send couples home with a manual that has more tools to learn and practice and exercises to continue growing in your marriage. Additional articles that are helpful will also be in your manual. We also offer 6 months of phone support at no additional cost. We want to be there for you even after you leave!
Is There Anything We Need To Do Before We Come?
Yes. Each spouse fills out an 8 page “Confidential Questionnaire” prior to coming. This helps your Counselor start to get to know you and your issues even before you arrive. Everything you write is strictly confidential, and we ask that spouses do not share their answers with each other.
What If My Spouse Doesn’t Want to Come?
Most couples do not have an even level of commitment to the marriage. Although both spouses would need to be willing to try, if your spouse isn’t ready to come, there are things you can do (and not do) that may help your spouse to being more open to coming. There is an article specifically designed for people whose spouse is less committed to the marriage.
This article has been immensely helpful on how to interact with your less committed spouse.
Another suggestion is to let them know you are not asking them for a lifetime of marriage with you, not even a commitment of 3 months, or even a month. You’re asking them for just four days, and if by the end of 4 days they still want to end the marriage, let them know you’ll support their decision. You might want to write these words in a very short note to them. Leave it somewhere for them to find. This lessens the chance of an argument. Don’t pursue asking if they read the note, or what they thought of it, etc. Let them come to you to respond to the note. If they respond. Patience is key.
Where is Your Location?
We are located in the beautiful Charlotte Metro area. We use Charlotte-Douglas International Airport which has a very high number of direct flights from all over the country.
85% of our couples come from outside the state of North Carolina, some come from other countries.
When couples schedule, we send them a list of hotels that are close to their counselor’s office for the couple’s convenience.
For more information on our location please visit our Location Page.
Are There Cases When You Would Not Recommend a Couple Take Part in an Intensive Marriage Retreat?
Yes. If a spouse is currently addicted to a substance, or if there has been any physical violence in the past year. We would need to evaluate further before we could give a green light for a couple to come.
Do your Marriage Intensives Include Food and Lodging?
If couples are wanting their food and lodging included, they need to find a program that offers group counseling. When a program sees many couples at one time, they can well afford to pay for everyone’s food and lodging. Since we see only one couple at a time, we unfortunately can’t include food and lodging. After a couple schedules, we send them info on close-by hotels, and restaurants abound in Charlotte!
What is a Typical Day Like?
A typical day begins in the morning where there are 2 to 2 and a half hours of homework to do at your hotel before you go to your counselor’s location. On Day 1 you do not have morning homework.
You have Evening homework to do on Day-One, You have morning and evening homework on Day Two, Day 3, Day 4, and Day 5 (there is no homework on your ending Day.)
Homework is divided into 3 parts:
1. Some reading (it’s *not* boring reading!)
2. Some writing – to go deeper.
3. Behavior requests. Very key to the success of your Intensive.
Then from 11:30 to 4:30 you meet with your Counselor at their location. After a quick rest and dinner break a couple has another 2 to 2 and a half hours of homework to do back at the hotel after dinner.
It’s a long day, and sometimes couples will ask to leave their counseling sessions with their Counselor earlier than allotted. We ask all couples to rest up before they come. We ask our couples to stop *all* discussions about their issues one week before they arrive. You’ll only discuss them the same way you’ve always been discussing them so you’ll get the same result. We don’t want you all worn out before you get here!
I Live Really Close To My Counselor’s Location, Do I Have To Stay In a Hotel?
No. Even though we strongly recommend staying in a hotel no matter how close you are to your Counselor’s office.
The advantages of staying in a hotel are:
- You get away from all the responsibilities that being home brings.
- There are not the distractions of TV, postal mail, gaming, phone, doing dishes, kids, dogs, etc.
- You have more time to focus on just each other during this important time.
- Couples have a much fuller experience when they stay in a hotel.
When you schedule, you will be sent a list of hotels that are close to your counselor’s office.
What Is The Cost of an Intensive Marriage Retreat?
May we say that we are less expensive than most other PRIVATE Intensive programs. Sure, we would make a lot more money if we were to see many couples at one time (group format), but what’s more important to us is the individual couple’s result. Although some programs tout 16 hours of counseling, when you and your spouse have to share those 16 hours of counseling with 10 or more other people, how many hours of personal counseling are you and your spouse actually receiving?
Although money might not be tight for you, it is for many folks.
A Three-Day Private Intensive Marriage Retreat $2795.00 and is equal to four-and-a-half months of weekly counseling. Three-day Intensive Marriage Retreats are best for couples who need some help, but there has been no talk of separation or divorce. Trust has not been broken. Conflicts are infrequent. Three days are right for couples who have an even commitment level to the relationship.
A Four-Day Private Intensive Marriage Retreat is $3695.00 and is equal to six months of weekly counseling. Four-day Intensive Marriage Retreats are best for couples who have some form of broken trust, or where couples have talked about separation or divorce. Some couples may already be separated or divorced. Couples may have an un-even commitment level to the marriage. Four days are also best for couples who may have a larger accumulation of issues.
A Five-Day Private Intensive Marriage Retreat is equal to seven-and-a-half months of weekly counseling. They are best for couples who have the same amount of issues listed in the four-day retreat, but also have additional issues such as; blended-family issues, parenting issues, extended family issues, or other outside influences that negatively affect the marriage.
Will My Insurance Cover an Intensive Marriage Retreat?
Insurance companies pay for traditional one-hour-a-week counseling. They don’t pay for Retreats.
Payment Plans and Scholarships
Unfortunately we aren’t able to offer payment plans or scholarships.
Do You Have Articles That Would be Helpful For Us To Read?
Yes, very good ones. Click here for more articles.
Do You Have a Statement of Faith?
Yes, please clink the link below to read our statement of faith.
You can read our Statement of Faith by clicking here.