My husband used to be so affectionate with me, but over the years he has stopped. What can I do?
We certainly do put our best foot forward in the early part of our marriages. Then familiarity, time, stress, children, financial stress, can all play a part in the slow demise of expressed affection.
In the beginning it's all we can do to *not* be affectionate--finding the love of our life is so joyous that affection just streams out of us. Then the monotony of day-to-day life takes it toll and affection must then be a priority if it is to survive.
The truth is we don't always feel like being affectionate. We get tired. Sometimes tired of giving when we don't get much back.
The first thing I would do is to sit down with your husband and express your need for his affection. Rather than saying, "You're never affectionate with me anymore!" (which will make him feel defensive) try telling him what you do need from him. "Honey, I need your affection and loving touch, I miss it so."
Most men will respond to such a heart-felt cry. Then, if he does start to show some affection (even the slightest bit) be ready to really affirm his efforts. "Sweetheart, that hug felt so good!" -- "I feel very loved by you when you kiss me like that."
Make sure that your are expressing affection to him in the way *he* likes affection. Affection to him might be making him a turkey sandwich instead of cuddling.
On a lazy Sunday afternoon, lie down on the bed together and each of you write out 10 things you like, love, or appreciate about each other. This can be a great jump start to more affection in your marriage.
The main thin to remember is that we have to *purpose* to keep affection alive in our marriages. It will not stay there automatically. We have to nurture and grow it or it will surely die. A haphazard approach to keeping love and affection in your marriage will yield haphazard results.
Purpose to do it, and you will keep affection alive and well!