My husband won't go to counseling, how can I save my marriage?
My heart goes out to you. You obviously don't want your marriage to end, but it sounds like your husband isn't interested in taking steps to make it better. This is a very painful situation to be in.
Consider coming to a "Spouse Intensive". We have seen time and time again that *one* person really can turn their marriage around by themselves. There are specific things to learn that will reach your unwilling spouse. Go to the HomePage and click on, "Spouse Intensive" for more information.
Another thing you can do is email us and ask for the article entitled, "What To Do When Your Spouse Wants To Leave". This article goes into detail about ways to encourage a spouse who may be wanting out.
Next, try and understand what your husband's objections are about counseling. Has he had a bad experience where he felt ganged up on? Was he made to feel like the "bad guy" in the counseling experience? Did you take him to a Counselor you already had a relationship with? If so, he might have felt like the Counselor was biased towards your perspective.
I would suggest asking him what it is about counseling that he doesn't like. He might feel less threatened if he were the one who was able to do the choosing.
If it's not the counseling he objects to as much as it is working on the marriage, then I would suggest trying to understand what brought him to that point. There is a *big* difference in trying to understand his feelings, verses trying to change his mind. Usually pressuring a disinterested spouse only pushes them further away.
Resist trying to get other people to talk to him, again, a pressuring thing to do. Right now he probably does not want his personal life being discussed with your friends and family, so make sure and keep the struggle you are going through private between the two of you--and only talk about things with a trusted Pastor or Christian Counselor.
Lastly, do not forget the power of prayer. Ask the Lord what *you* need to do to be the kind of person your husband will want to work things out with. Focus your prayers on the Lord changing you--instead of changing your husband.
Also pray for strength and comfort during this uncertain time. Just talk to the Lord all throughout the day--instead of "formal" prayers. He cares. He is for marriage.