My husband called me a terrible name a few months ago and I can't stop hurting over it. How can I forgive him?
1. Acknowledge all of your feelings. There is often anger lurking behind any hurt or sadness you might feel.
2. Express your feelings - write them out, talk to the Lord about the depth of your pain. Be specific. He wants to hear it all.
3. Accept responsibility for your own emotions. Although you were wronged and your emotions may be justified, it is still up to you to decide when you're ready to stop feeling angry or upset.
4. Talk to the other person about the behavior that upset you and how it made you feel.
5. Try to understand the other person's perspective, even if you don't really agree with it.
6. Rebuild trust in the relationship. Make agreements about acceptable future behavior whenever appropriate.
7. Make the decision to forgive, and communicate your forgiveness to the other person. Once you've done this, make every effort to move on and let it go completely.
8. Sometimes we need the Lord's help in even being willing to forgive. You can ask Him to give you a willingness to forgive and He will help you.
9. Remember, once you have forgiven someone of something, it is burried. Do not bring it up again, even in conflicts. The greater sin is to not forgive. So keep at it until you feel the emotional freedom that comes with true forgiveness.